We just read about a study, conducted by Carnegie Mellon University researchers, which examined the causal connection between sexual frequency and happiness.  The researchers wanted to see if having more sex would lead to increased happiness.  Check out the article here.

They found this was not true…while the couples who were instructed to have more sex did have more sex, it did not lead to increased happiness.  In fact, they found that couples who were instructed to have more sex actually reported lower sexual desire and a decrease in sexual enjoyment. 

We actually see this scenario with many couples we work with.  When one partner is solely focused on increasing the frequency of sex, the desire to have sex often decreases for the other partner.  For the partner being asked to increase the frequency, sex often feels more like an obligation or another chore to check off the list.  Thus, we help these couples shift their focus.  Instead of focusing on the frequency of sex, we get them to focus on ways they can spark their desire and make having sex more pleaurable and fun.