This year, why not get the special Mom in your life something different and unique for Mother’s Day? Get her something that she can have fun with and really use, something that gives her pleasure and helps her relax and unwind, and something that is also good for her sexual health and wellness! Yes, we are talking about a sex toy!
Now, before we get started, let’s be clear on this important point… we are NOT suggesting you surprise your own mother, grandmother, etc. with one of these pleasure toys. Can you imagine the horror!?!?! No, these are super sexy gift ideas for your wife, partner, significant other, etc.
These sex toys are not only best sellers, but they have also received 5 FEATHERS (very, very hot!) on the official Love Bird’s Feathers Rating Scale™. This means it will take all 5 feathers to cool her off after using any of these toys!
1. Platinum Edition Butterfly Kiss
This is a dual stimulation vibrator that provides lots of clitoral stimulation while also providing g-erogenous zone stimulation. It also has 9 intense functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation. This will kiss her in all the right places!
2. Give it Up!® 10-Function Silicone Massager
This new silky soft, powerful massager has an ergonomically curved controller to help her hit all her “right” spots. The body of the massager is contoured and textured to add extra pleasure. It has 10 functions of intense vibrations, pulsations and escalations. The Give It Up will leave a smile on her face!
3. Embrace™ Body Wand
This wand is unique because it has a motor in each end, and each motor can be controlled independently. Each has 7 intense functions of vibration, pulsation and escalation. Thus, both ends may be used independently or together for pleasurable stimulation. It’s like having two toys in one! She will definitely “embrace her mind, body and soul”!
No matter which one you choose, it will be sure to please! She will appreciate your acknowledgment that she’s not only a mother, but also a sexual woman and be thankful for your concern about her sexual health and wellness! Happy Mother’s Day
Today we are talking all about penis pumps or vacuum constricting devices. Penis pumps can be a low-cost treatment option for men suffering from erectile dysfunction, especially when drugs like Viagra are ineffective or contraindicated. Some men experience pleasure from using pumps. Many advertisements market penis pumps with the claim that they can be used to increase penis size, but there’s no evidence that they work for this purpose. If there is an increase in penis size after using a pump, it is very temporary.
Penis pumps consist of a large cylinder and some kind of pumping mechanism such as a squeeze ball, a hand grip, or an electric device. The cylinder is placed over the penis. As air is pumped out of the cylinder, the resulting vacuum increases blood flow into the penis. Then, a constriction ring or “cock ring” is placed at the base of the penis to maintain the erection once the pump is removed.
Now, one pump we are showing is the Apollo™ Premium Power Pump. This is a professional grade vacuum pump with easy squeeze trigger handle. It has a quick release valve which is really important when choosing a pump. The quick release valve allows you to eliminate the pressure instantly if the suction is too intense or if it becomes painful which helps you avoid serious damage to the penis. The flexible, non-crimping air hose is removable and easily detaches while maintaining suction. It has a heavy-duty oversized, seamless cylinder with flanged base for a secure seal and silicone donut. The cylinder is 9.5 inches long and 3.25 inches diameter girth. You can get the Apollo™ Premium Power Pump in smoke or blue.
The next pump we are showing is the Apollo™ Automatic Power Pump. This is a high tech, fully automatic pump meaning it does the pumping for you. The ergonomically hand-held controller has an easy to read LED display which measures the PSI vacuum inside the cylinder. It has an auto start/stop button and a quick air release button. The cylinder has a textured grip, a flanged base and a body safe donut. The oversized cylinder is 10 inches long and 2.5 inches diameter girth. It requires 4 AAA batteries. You can get the Apollo™ Automatic Power Pump in smoke or clear.
Wash your pump before and after each use with soap and water. Sometimes we hear men say their pump did not work due to a lack of suction. This can be due to not having a good seal between the cylinder of the pump and your body. The seal is the most important part in creating the vacuum that allows blood to be drawn into the penis. So, you may need to trim or shave your pubic hair where the cylinder goes and apply some lube around the area to prevent air leakage.
Now, here’s a little PSA for you regarding safety when using any penis pump. You definitely want to check with your doctor before using a penis pump if you have any injuries or surgeries involving your penis, testicles or prostate, you have a blood disorder or take blood thinning medications. Always start slowly when pumping and only apply the minimum amount of vacuum pressure needed to get an erection. Over-enthusiastic pumping can cause blood vessels to burst and cause blisters to form. You definitely want to stop using the pump if you experience pain. Don’t use a penis pump while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Refrain from using pumps on a daily basis. Misuse or overuse of a pump can aggravate existing medical conditions (such as Peyronies disease, priapism, and urethral strictures) and can cause penile bruising and serious permanent injury to the penis and damage to the penile tissue. If you use a constriction ring to maintain an erection after pumping, please do not use for more than 30 minutes at a time.
Many couples come to see us because their sex life has become very routine and they desperately want to find ways to spice things up in the bedroom. In addition to recommending sex toys and pleasure products, we also suggest they discuss and explore sexual fantasies and role playing. Unfortunately, this suggestion usually triggers the “deer in the headlight” type of stares or uncomfortable laughter. Often this response is due to the negative assumptions they have about sexual fantasies and role playing. And sometimes it’s due to a lack of information and not knowing where to start. We understand that for many people just the idea of sharing their sexual fantasies with their partner can evoke lots of fears and insecurities.
However, sexual fantasies and role playing can add more fun and playfulness in the bedroom as well as help you break out of your sexual rut. We know that talking about sex, let alone sexual fantasies, is not the easiest thing to do, but remember you can change things, if you’re willing to make the extra effort. So to help you begin this process, we address some of the myths we’ve heard over the years about sexual fantasies and provide some steps to help you talk openly with your partner about sexual fantasies and role playing. We have also included some common sexual fantasies and role plays as well as offer some role playing safety tips.
Sexual Fantasy Myths:
• If you fantasize about something, you will want to make it happen in real life.
Research shows people fantasize about all kinds of things they would never do in real life. For example, some people fantasize about being forced to have sex or having a homosexual encounter, but would never actually want these scenarios to actually take place, even if the situations presented themselves. Sexual fantasies allow people to mentally experiment with out-of-character sexual behaviors without any guilt or risk of harm.
• Sharing our sexual fantasies with your partner is dangerous to your relationship.
Many couples enjoy sharing their sexual fantasies without any problems. However, it is important to first establish safety, rules and boundaries with your partner before sharing your sexual fantasies with each other. It’s also important to know what’s okay and not okay to share.
• Sexual fantasies are bad and unhealthy.
Sexual fantasies are completely safe and normal and a healthy part of your sexuality and sexual motivation. Your sexual motivation requires more than hormones, it requires external and internal stimuli which involves both images and stories. So, if you are thinking about your to-do list (internal stimuli) while having sex, you probably won’t be aroused. Sexual fantasies can heighten your sexual arousal and overall sexual pleasure.
How to Talk to Your Partner about Sexual Fantasies and Role Playing
Sharing fantasies with your partner reveals a part of you that no one else gets to see; it’s a very intimate experience and you must feel comfortable with your partner to be able to express them. Here are some steps to help you get started:
1. Figure Out Your Reasons for Sharing –
Do you want to share to learn about each other’s inner sexual worlds? Does simply sharing your fantasies turn you on? Are you looking to fulfill your fantasy or certain parts of it with your partner in role playing? Which ones will you share and which will you keep to yourself. Be clear about what you want before you have a talk with your partner.
2. Make it the Right Time and Place –
When you want to talk about anything related to sex, don’t do it as you’re cooking dinner, with the kids running around the house. You won’t have time to talk. Use your quiet, private time together for this conversation. We suggest having the conversation outside of the bedroom.
3. Establish Rules and Boundaries –
Share each other’s motivation and reasons for sharing sexual fantasies. Discuss what you will share and what you won’t before you get started. For example, some couples feel safer only sharing fantasies about fictitious people. Fantasies about someone you and/or your partner know can be difficult for your partner to handle, as they may feel insecure about you acting on those fantasies. Therefore, we suggest keeping fantasies about your partner’s relatives, friends, co-workers, etc. “off limits”. We also suggest making an agreement with each other not to share the details of each other’s fantasies with anyone else, especially friends and family, etc.
4. Establish a Dialogue –
Bringing up this topic can be tricky. Remember to take it slow with your partner. Your partner may have lots of negative assumptions about sexual fantasies. Start by letting your partner know how much you enjoy them in bed and you are simply interested in spicing up your relationship. It may help to start the conversation by talking about sexy scenes in movies. You can discuss your thoughts and feelings about the scenes. When you both feel more comfortable, then you can start sharing your fantasies.
5. Listen without Judgment –
Unfortunately, it’s not enough to be able to talk openly — you have to be able to listen without judgment. Upon hearing your partner express a sexual fantasy that’s out of your comfort zone, it’s generally not good to react with, “That’s gross! You’re a pervert! No way am I going to do that!” Instead, take a deep breath and remind yourself that a fantasy is just a fantasy and that it doesn’t mean your partner wants to explore it in real life. And sexual fantasies are not always literal. They are often symbolic, so explore the meaning of the fantasy with your partner. Remember, if you react judgmentally when your partner is opening up to you, all you are really doing is conditioning your partner to close up and keep these things from you.
6. Make it a Win/Win-
When couples act out each other’s sexual fantasies, they gain a better understanding of each other’s sexual desires and they keep their sexual relationship new and exciting. Sexual fantasies can range from being cute and romantic to being spanked or even tortured. Role Playing is defined as a situation in which one acts out or assumes a particular character or role. So, if your partner wants to role play a romantic sexual fantasy, that may be okay with you. However, if your partner has a sexual fantasy that you’re uncomfortable with or that’s not safe for your relationship to do in real life (i.e. like a threesome), try not to immediately say “no”. Instead, make a counter offer. Maybe suggest ways to act out certain parts of the fantasy instead of the whole fantasy. Or suggest another fantasy that you find arousing that also has similar elements of your partner’s fantasy. Be willing and open to compromise. If you have difficulty compromising or if you get stuck, get help from a Sexologist or Sex Therapist in your area.
7. Have Fun and Play!
Stop taking yourself so serious. Remember, you are not playing a role to win an Oscar! If you’re not comfortable with the idea of improvising and role playing your partner’s sexual fantasy, then start by watching a steamy movie together and acting out some of the best scenes as the characters in the movie. This may help you get more comfortable playing roles. Once you’re comfortable, you will be ready to improvise some roles and characters. Sometimes having a costume or props will help you get into character. Continue to play so you both will feel comfortable role playing.
Common Sexual Fantasies and Role Plays
The types of sexual fantasies that people have varies greatly. Some people fantasize about having sex with more than one person, being forced to have sex, having sex with someone of the same sex, or even watching or being watched having sex. Some fantasize about being held and desired while others fantasize about being dominated, spanked, humiliated or even tortured. Some people fantasize about celebrities, strangers, past lovers, people in uniforms and yes, even animals or other creatures. However, the most common sexual fantasy involves doing lot’s of fun sexual acts with your partner which can lead to some fun role plays!
When people hear about role plays, they may automatically think of a French maid and her boss, police officer and burglar, teacher and student, photographer and model, doctor and nurse, or stripper and client. However, role plays can also be a situation from the past, the first time you met or adventures from your favorite movie or book. Some couple’s participate in role reversal. If one partner is typically more dominant and the other submissive, they can switch during role playing.
Just a Few Role Playing Safety Tips:
• Create a safe word to stop the play for any reason. Agree that the play will end immediately when that word is used.
• No laughing at your partner for something they do or say. However, it’s okay to laugh at something together.
• Avoid judgment and say no without hurting or putting your partner down.
• Agree to only do things that you both are comfortable with.
• Remember to make it safe and consensual!
This afternoon, we had the pleasure of being guests on Club CalExotic’s new radio show, On Air with Club CalExotics, hosted by Sheena Metal. We discussed sex toys and also answered many questions from callers. We also discussed our list of the Top Ten Sex Toys for Couples.
In case you missed it, you can listen to the replay this weekend, just check http://www.siriusxm.com/vividradio for the On Air with Club CalExotics schedule.
Just to recap, here is our list of the Top 10 Sex Toys for Couples (in no particular order) including some of our review videos:
1. Dr. Laura Berman’s Shades of Purple Playroom Kit
This BDSM style kit includes a mask (to heighten your other senses), a pair of cuffs (to help with submissiveness), a feather tickler (to awaken your sense of touch), and weighted orgasm balls (to help you strengthen your PC muscles and give you lots of pleasure). This kit can definitely provide a variety of erotic and sensual experiences for you and your partner! The pleasure aids can also be used as props to help you duplicate a scene from a shared fantasy or steamy novel!
2. Platinum Edition Butterfly Kiss
Not only is this a best seller, but it received 5 FEATHERS (very, very hot!) on The Love Bird’s Feathers Rating Scale™! This means it will take all 5 feathers to cool you and your partner off after using this toy! This is a dual stimulation vibrator that provides lots of clitoral stimulation while also providing g-erogenous zone stimulation. It also has 9 intense functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation. We like this vibrator because your partner can wield it and determine the best ways to stimulate you, so he or she can feel more involved!
3. Tantric 10 Function Namaste Massager
Don’t let the small size of this vibrator fool you…it’s quite powerful and has 10 functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation! It’s great for clitoral stimulation and shallow vaginal penetration. If your partner is a man, you can use it on his penis and scrotum to give him some extra pleasure as well!
4. Inked Glass Probe
We absolutely LOVE glass sex toys! This glass dildo is smooth and seamless and made of 100% hand blown glass. It’s body-safe and non-porous (meaning it won’t absorb any fluids), and it’s very easy to clean. We like this toy for couples because it’s great for temperature play (a form of sensation play involving the creation of hot or cold sensations). Instead of needing wax candles and ice cubes, you can warm up this toy or chill it for lots of fun with your partner!
5. Fifty Ways to Tease Your Lover
You can definitely fire up your relationship in ways you never thought possible with this game! This game is a beginner’s guide to safe and playful “tie and tease” lovemaking. This game includes a pair of dice, rope, mask, deck of cards, feather and rule booklet. It’s a great way to introduce you and your partner to soft BDSM play.
6. Embrace Lover’s Remote
This is a great toy for couples because it has a vibrating stimulator and a vibrating remote control that can be used together or separately. Yes, both vibrate! Your partner can use the remote control to tease and excite you or you can use the remote control as a panty teaser! It’s also waterproof which can provide lots of fun for you both in or out of the shower!
7. Remote Control 10 Function Little Black Panty
Ladies, this is “the perfect accessory for your little black dress”. It’s a black lace panty that comes with a powerful vibrating bullet! The bullet has 10 incredible functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation. All you have to do is wear this vibrating panty and give your partner the remote control…enough said!!
8. Nick Hawk Gigolo Hawk Enhancer
This is a penis ring that can be used to enhance your erection but also has pleasure ticklers for stimulation for you and your partner. Plus, putting this penis jewelry on can be part of the foreplay!
9. Entice Adelle
This is a great penis ring that be used to enhance your erection but also has a vibrating stimulator that has 7 powerful functions of vibration, pulsation and escalation. It has stimulating nodules that can provide great clitoral stimulation. The Adelle has a remote control which means you or your partner can take control of the different stimulations!
10. Nick Hawk Gigolo Sexual Positions Book
This is obviously not a sex toy but it is a great book for couples because it offers over 60 sexual positions. It is also very visually stimulating! It gives you and your partner ideas on ways to change things up beyond the missionary position.
Just came across this video about a woman who came up with an unusual challenge of having sex with her husband every day, for a year. She discussed why she did it and how it transformed her relationship.
Check it out here. What are your thoughts on this? Would you take on this challenge in your relationship?
Just came across this New York Times article, I’ll Have What She’s Thinking, discussing how researchers have confirmed spontaneous orgasms in women. Very interesting! Check it out here. Have you ever experienced a spontaneous orgasm?
50 Shades of Play
You will discover in this webinar:
- The rules of the game
- Sizzling sexy adventures
- How to introduce the use of sex toys into the bedroom as a couple
LISTEN LIVE: Saturday October 19th, 7pm Pacific Time
BUY NOW: $19.00 includes LIVE access and downloadable recording!
We were on Fox 13 Good Morning Tampa Bay yesterday morning with anchor Laura Moody . We discussed dealing with switched gender roles in relationships and Gabrielle Reece’s recent statements from her book including this one, “to truly be feminine means being soft, receptive, and [–look out, here it comes –] submissive.” This statement set off a firestorm of media reaction and a lot of controversy. For more information and to learn more of what she said, click here.
Watch the video below to see our thoughts on the subject and her statements. What are thoughts on what she said and gender roles in relationships in general?